Hatters Vow Self-Improvement, Hope City Hall Catches Up in '26
OWL NEWS
MEDICINE HAT, AB – As the city of Medicine Hat, where our name is our most famous opening line, Medicine Hat has never shied away from ambitious goals. Now, as we stare down the barrel of 2026—yes, we checked the calendar twice—Hatters are drafting their annual lists of personal improvements, blissfully ignoring the civic ones that remain stubbornly unchecked.
Top Hatter Resolutions for 2026 (According to Our Very Scientific Poll of People We Bumped Into)
“I will master the timeline of the 24/7 shelter that isn’t.”
The city's own Resilient & Inclusive Task Force has proven to be everything but—when they finally named the location they had chosen in secret in late September, the backlash was so fierce the provider fled. The only thing more permanent than the problem is the process.“I will follow the lawsuit between the city and the former city manager with the same dedication I give to my fantasy hockey league.”
“I will use the phrase ‘trust the process’ unironically, at least once, regarding either the traffic circles or the search for a city manager who won’t sue us.”
This is considered a high-difficulty resolution, akin to biking the Police Point loop uphill in a chinook.“I will be nicer on local Facebook groups. Starting tomorrow. Or maybe next week. Unless someone is wrong about the best place for pizza, then all bets are off.”
“I will ask Mayor Linnsie Clark, if I see her at Co-op, what it feels like to get sued by the fired city manager - the same one who was famously booed by a packed council chamber after insisting the mayor apologize to the entire city.”
(Note: Owl News cannot be held responsible for any awkwardness—or spontaneous applause—that may result from you actually doing this.)
AI to the Rescue? Don’t Bet Your Last Dollar on It.
In a desperate bid for help, some citizens are turning to Artificial Intelligence to draft their resolutions. “I asked ChatGPT to ‘create a fiscally responsible plan to solve a municipal crisis while keeping taxes low and everyone happy,’” reported one hopeful resident. “It generated a 500-word essay that basically said ‘Good luck with that,’ and then recommended I go for a walk in the River Valley to clear my head. So, useful, but not that useful.”
Why Your Resolution Should Be Supporting REAL Local News
While AI is busy suggesting walks, Owl News will be doing what we’ve done since day one: showing up to council meetings that run until late at night, filing FOIP requests that make bureaucrats sigh deeply, and reporting on the stories that matter to Hatters.
We’re the scrappy, locally-owned non-profit with a roster that functions like a journalistic special ops team:
The Archivist: Possesses a memory like an elephant and a filing system like a squirrel on espresso. Can find a quote from a 2019 committee meeting faster than you can say "point of order."
The Doorstopper: Renowned for a polite but terrifying persistence. Has been smiled at through closed windows by more than one flustered communications director. Believes deadlines are sacred and accountability is a public service.
The Wordsmith: Turns dense council reports into readable, often scathingly witty prose. Responsible for ensuring our headlines are sharper than the wind off the Trans-Canada Highway.
We aren’t afraid to ask the awkward questions that need asking. Our New Year’s resolution is to keep holding a mirror up to this wonderful, weird, and sometimes wildly frustrating city we call home. Even if that mirror occasionally reflects things some folks would rather keep in the dark.
Consider making your resolution supporting this work. Subscribe, donate, or just tell your neighbour about us. Independent journalism, like a consistent shelter strategy, shouldn’t be a fantasy.
The Owl News Bottom Line:
As you vow to eat more kale and finally organize your garage, remember that civic health is as important as personal health. Here’s to a 2026 where our personal resolve is stronger than our wifi signal, and where our city’s follow-through finally catches up to its famous heart.
Happy New Year, Medicine Hat. Let’s keep this place interesting.
– The Team at Owl News: Small but Mighty, and Unafraid to Poke the Bear (Or the Mayor, or the Entire Political Establishment).
