Danielle Smith Building Imaginary Wall (But Don’t Worry, Montana Will Pay for It)

AI generated image of President Trump and Danielle Smith Meeting at the border to MAKE ALBERICA GOOEY AGAIN.

In a statement following the Council of the Federation’s meeting with Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, Alberta Premier Danielle Smith weighed in on everything from border security to energy production, with the flair of someone auditioning for a House of Cards reboot. While discussing U.S. President-elect Donald Trump’s impending return to office, Smith managed to bring Alberta into the immigration and drug-smuggling debate—because, obviously, Montana’s bustling border towns are hotbeds of intrigue.

“Although I oppose any tariffs on Canadian or U.S. products,” Smith said, “it is my view that President Donald Trump, and the tens of millions of Americans who voted for him, have valid concerns related to illegal migrants and drug smuggling at our shared border.”

Alberta, with its 298 kilometers of border with Montana, is apparently a key battleground in the global war on illegal crossings. Forget the serene, empty prairies or the occasional cow wandering too close to the line—this is serious business. One imagines border patrol agents stationed in Coutts being issued binoculars and cowboy hats, ready to defend the nation from anyone smuggling… maple syrup?

“Smith’s Border Plan: More Patrols, Fewer Details”

Smith hinted at an ambitious plan to patrol Alberta’s border with Montana but didn’t provide specifics. One wonders what this “urgent and decisive” strategy will involve—perhaps a volunteer corps of Albertans armed with hockey sticks and Tim Hortons coffee? Or maybe Alberta’s famous truck convoy organizers will moonlight as border guards.

Critics were quick to point out that illegal immigration and drug smuggling are hardly the major issues facing Alberta’s economy, but Smith’s statement suggests she’s not letting that stop her. “Doing so is good for both the United States and Canada,” she insisted, channeling the energy of a neighbor who insists on mowing your lawn for you.

Energy Security: “Utter Foolishness” and Other Hits

Smith also used the statement to take aim at the federal government’s proposed energy production cap, which she called “utter foolishness.” She argued that Alberta is “uniquely positioned in all of the world” to provide the U.S. with energy security. It’s unclear whether Smith expects Alberta’s oil sands to single-handedly solve global energy woes or if she’s been inspired by Trump’s trademark hyperbole.

Smith urged Trudeau to immediately withdraw the energy cap “as a show of commitment to North American energy security and partnership.” It’s a bold move, given Trudeau’s history of politely nodding at premiers while continuing to do whatever he wants.

NATO: Alberta’s Newest Priority?

The premier also took a surprising turn into military policy, calling for Canada to increase its defense spending to meet NATO’s two percent GDP obligation. While most Albertans are likely more concerned with inflation and healthcare than NATO compliance, Smith framed it as a critical part of the U.S.-Canada alliance.

Perhaps Alberta’s plan to patrol the border will double as a military exercise? One can already hear the calls for F-35s buzzing over Milk River.

Diplomatic Outreach (or: Trump 2025, Eh?)

Smith concluded her statement by pledging to work aggressively with Trump’s incoming administration and U.S. Congressional leadership. “Strengthening our economic and energy partnership” is the goal, though critics noted the optics of cozying up to an administration that hasn’t even taken office yet.

One commentator joked, “Does this mean Alberta’s getting its own MAGA hats? Maybe in plaid.”

Final Thoughts

Premier Smith’s bold statement might resonate with her base, but it’s already raising eyebrows across Canada. Whether it’s the focus on an “urgent” Montana border patrol or the call for NATO-level military spending, it’s clear she’s not afraid to ruffle feathers—or crack open a can of rhetorical chaos.

As one political observer quipped, “If Danielle Smith’s strategy works, maybe she’ll secure Alberta a spot as the 51st state. But let’s be honest, it’s more likely to result in a very polite letter from Montana asking us to tone it down.”

Stay tuned—because in Alberta politics, it’s always open mic night.