PTSD Affects More Than Veterans and First Responders
The Trash Panda advocates for mental health on a regular basis. The mind affects the body, stress alone can wreak havoc on our body causing physical symptoms and worsening conditions. We believe all Trash Pandas need to care for their mental health as much as their physical health.
I’ve spoken about my PTSD symptoms recently. I’m not looking for sympathy. I’m sharing my story in the hopes it can help other recognize the symptoms in themselves so they can get help. I cannot speak to how others experience it; I will relate My Own Personal Experience (MOPE).
I’m very grateful for all the support I’ve received, the hugs, messages and phone calls have been wonderful. Thank you!
PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)
PTSD does not have to be triggered by a single event, it can be a series of events over time.
Anyone can develop PTSD at any age. This includes combat veterans and people who have experienced or witnessed a physical or sexual assault, abuse, an accident, a disaster, a terror attack, or other serious events. People who have PTSD may feel stressed or frightened, even when they are no longer in danger.
Not everyone with PTSD has been through a dangerous event. Sometimes, learning that a relative or close friend experienced trauma can cause PTSD.
(source Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH))
Journalists are also a group that experiences PTSD. - Stress Reactions - Committee to Protect Journalists
MOPE My diagnosis came after a series of health emergencies involving my late husband Carl. I’d experienced symptoms for years without realizing what was going on. When I spoke about Carl’s health emergencies, I’d often break into tears. When I finally saw a therapist, she could see that I was in a state described as “hanging by one’s fingernails”. I was offered medication but I decided to see if talk therapy would help. It did and I was able to come back from the ledge and regain some stability in my life.
I was later triggered when Carl nearly died from a therapeutic use of a fentanyl patch. I found him unresponsive and performed CPR until the ambulance arrived. The patch was taken off and he still almost died again 12 hours later. I had nightmares, flashbacks, crying spells, I avoided certain places or situations. I had to turn off a favourite fictional TV show when a scene showed someone performing CPR - it was too hard to watch. It was months before I could watch anything like that again.
Looking back, I can recognize the symptoms starting much earlier. I grew up in an alcoholic household and until my parents split up, celebrations tended to turn into a shitshow. I grew up dreading holidays, birthdays, etc and got very irritable when they approached. I was not a pleasant person to be around.
Most recently, my PTSD was triggered by a traumatic event I witnessed in my role as a journalist. I merely witnessed my friend and coworker being assault by police officers, he had to experience the assault; I can only imagine what he is going through. Fully story here. Medicine Hat Police Service (MHPS) and a Literal Attack on the Free Press
Symptoms
Symptoms may not appear right away, they can appear months after an initial traumatic event.
“To be diagnosed with PTSD, an adult must have all of the following for at least 1 month:
At least one re-experiencing symptom
At least one avoidance symptom
At least two arousal and reactivity symptoms
At least two cognition and mood symptoms”
Re-experiencing symptoms
Flashbacks—reliving the traumatic event, including physical symptoms, such as a racing heart or sweating
Recurring memories or dreams related to the event
Distressing thoughts
Physical signs of stress
Thoughts and feelings can trigger these symptoms, as can words, objects, or situations that are reminders of the event.
(MOPE - I had flashbacks, nightmares, distressing thoughts resulting in frequent tears, physical signs of stress such as increased heart rate, upset stomach, etc. To this day, just hearing “code 666” over the hospital intercom brings back a vivid memory.)
Avoidance symptoms
Staying away from places, events, or objects that are reminders of the experience
Avoiding thoughts or feelings related to the traumatic event
Avoidance symptoms may cause people to change their routines. For example, some people may avoid driving or riding in a car after a serious car accident.
(MOPE - I tried to avoid anything that would remind me but since my husband was a frequent flyer at the hospital, that was hard to do. I avoided any TV shows or videos that depicted life threatening situations.)
Arousal and reactivity symptoms
Being easily startled
Feeling tense, on guard, or on edge
Having difficulty concentrating
Having difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep
Feeling irritable and having angry or aggressive outbursts
Engaging in risky, reckless, or destructive behavior
Arousal symptoms are often constant. They can lead to feelings of stress and anger and may interfere with parts of daily life, such as sleeping, eating, or concentrating.
(MOPE - tense, on guard, on edge, difficulty concentrating, insomnia, irritable.)
Cognition and mood symptoms
Trouble remembering key features of the traumatic event
Negative thoughts about oneself or the world
Exaggerated feelings of blame directed toward oneself or others
Ongoing negative emotions, such as fear, anger, guilt, or shame
Loss of interest in previous activities
Feelings of social isolation
Difficulty feeling positive emotions, such as happiness or satisfaction
Cognition and mood symptoms can begin or worsen after the traumatic event. They can lead people to feel detached from friends or family members. (source Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH))
(MOPE - I blamed myself for my husband’s illness, I felt I should have caught it quicker (our family doctor took great pains to disabuse me of that notion), lots of fear and anger, loss of interest in activities, difficulty feeling positive emotions.)
Right Now I’m Experiencing
Re-experiencing symptoms -
Flashbacks - I can still hear my friend’s screams.
Distressing thoughts - I have to keep my mind busy. I can no longer go to sleep in silence, I need the TV on to keep me from thinking. When I wake in the night, I need to turn on the TV again. I choose shows I have seen a million times because I need something predictable.
Physical signs of stress - heart rate up, blood pressure up, upset stomach, strong feelings of anxiety
Avoidance symptoms
I’m second guessing attendance at any place where police may be.
Cognition and Mood Symptoms -
Guilt that I did not step in sooner, maybe if I’d said something different, the outcome would have been different, my friend and coworker would not have been seriously injured.
This is highly unlikely but PTSD symptoms do not have to be logical.
Arousal and Reactivity Symptoms
Having difficulty concentrating
Having difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep
Feeling tense, on guard, or on edge almost constantly unless I’m with people I trust
On the edge of tears multiple times per day - Yesterday it was over 15 times.
Crying when someone asks me “How are you?”
Crying when I think of someone asking me “How are you?”
(I might start wearing a mask again until this subsides.)
Sample PTSD Checklist
This is for information only and is not meant to replace a physician’s advice/diagnosis.
(Source of above images PTSD Checklist for DSM-5 (PCL-5))
Treatment can involve medication or psychotherapy. Speak with your medical team to see what is right for you.
In the meantime…
What can I do to help myself?
You can get better with treatment. Here are some things you can do to help yourself:
Talk with your health care provider about treatment options and follow your treatment plan.
Engage in exercise, mindfulness, or other activities that help reduce stress.
Try to maintain routines for meals, exercise, and sleep.
Set realistic goals and focus on what you can manage.
Spend time with trusted friends or relatives and tell them about things that may trigger symptoms.
Expect your symptoms to improve gradually, not immediately.
Avoid the use of alcohol or drugs.
(source Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH))
More Information - Where to Get Help
Behavioural Health Consultant List Palliser Health Authority
Behavioural Health Consultants (BHCs) are not psychiatrists or psychologists. They cannot prescribe but they work with your family doctor who can. They use talk therapy to help you manage your stress or deal with grief, they help with everyday stresses. This service is FREE under Alberta Health Services, unlimited visits as often as you need them. They can do in person visits or phone visits, they can do emergency appointments as well.
(When Carl was in the ICU, I went once a week. One time I just sat and cried for about half an hour. )
The Trash Panda Sends Much Love to You All
Please Take Care of Yourselves This Holiday Weekend
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