Medicine Hat City Councillor Shila Sharps’s Remarks Monday April 8 2024 And the “Apology”
By Kelly Allard
TW – mentions suicide and self harm
Sharps said a shocking thing the other night which left many people angry and others genuinely concerned about her mental health. After a backlash from the community she offered an “apology” which left much to be desired.
First of all, I do not believe that Sharps had any intention of hurting anybody. I believe it was meant to be indicative of how tired she felt. I believe it was a very poor choice of words.
(File photo)
That being said -
People elected to public office do not have the luxury of being flippant in public. You give up that right when you are elected especially when your words are being recorded for the public to access at a later date.
Background of my personal association with sharps
I first met Shila during the 2021 civic election. I admire strong women and I liked her attitude of not tolerating any BS. All too often women will submit to others but I knew Shila would fight for things. She was not overly politically correct and she recognized that in herself. We did disagree about the development of the river but when I explained my view, she thought it reasonable. I found it encouraging that she could see other points of view. I even joined Shila on election night to watch the results come in. I was excited to see her get elected.
May 2022 I spoke at the Medicine Hat Police Commission (MHPC) when I read a letter we’d received from the wife (Tanya) of Barry Reed, a man with dementia who had been arrested by MHPS. Sharps was on the MHPC at that time, she commented that her father had had dementia and that his perceptions were not always real.
I was nervous as hell and did not dispute that but I should have. In the letter was instances of where the wife had spoken with hospital staff about her husband’s injuries that he received while in remand when he tried to self-harm. Tanya’s perceptions were not skewed by dementia.
From the May 2022 Medicine Hat Police Commission Minutes
“A/Chief West responded that the Service needs to be diligent in training our officers and crisis negotiators and that is why our partnerships with mental health programs are so important. Is also an important reminder about things that may happen to individuals after they leave our custody and we have completed our part of the process, a reminder that they need to be treated with dignity.”
They did not try to justify their decisions at that time, they accepted the criticism and at least appeared to be open to doing better.
In early 2023 I spoke again at the MHPC regarding our family losing a young person to suicide. Sharps messaged me during the meeting asking if I was okay, when she noticed how emotional I was after I sat down. (I very much appreciated her concern.)
Sharps and I had stayed in touch after the election but she got chilly when I criticized her behaviour at the August 21 2023 Shitshow Showdown. I told her that outrageous behaviour merits an outrageous criticism.
( I will criticize my friends when appropriate; I expect people to do the same for me.)
The “Apology”
This was in regards to the negative response Sharps received after she said Monday night while explaining why she did not want the meeting going on past 11pm.
Sharps said
"I'm losing the will to live."
I’ve listened to and read the “apology” given to CHAT News. It does not appear to be an apology at all, it is an OFFER to apologize to those who contact her directly. (I don’t know if she said anything more to CHAT that was left out.) Here is what Sharps told CHAT reporter Adrian St Onge. On April 9 2024.
“If anybody was truly offended like and I mean TRULY offended by what I said, I, number one you can call me and text me and I’d be happy to - you don’t have to do it on social media and you don’t have to internalize it; you get to say it to me and I will listen to you and I will apologize to you right to your face again 'cause my intention is never to hurt anyone like that but I will also, also like everyone to calm down just a little bit and look at people’s intentions.”
Again, I believe Sharps when she says she did not intend for anyone to be hurt by her words.
However, this phrase came to mind
“The road to Hell is paved with good intentions”
It matters not what your intentions were. Nobody gets to tell people if they should feel offended or not (truly or otherwise).
Telling the public that you want everyone to calm down is like throwing gasoline on the flames.
Implying that people must be "truly" offended before they contact her for an apology is fanning the flames.
(I’m going to include myself in the following as my family has lost family members to suicide. Other family members have been at risk for self harm or suicide. I’m Speaking Out and Speaking Up for those who are still hurting too much to do so.)
Sharps was wrong and needs to admit this. We don’t give a shit about intentions. What was said by Sharps (perhaps in jest) was hurtful to us; she needs to take responsibility for her words.
The onus is on City Council members to communicate clearly to the public, it is NOT on the public to figure out what their intentions were. Council Members need to say exactly what they mean and mean exactly what they say.
Sharps needs to apologize properly and promise to do better in the future. No buts, no howevers, no excuses, no telling people to calm down.
Mistakes happen all the time. Forgiveness happens all the time too but you must make an effort to give a real apology instead of offering excuses.
Council Members might want to consult a public relations advisor before they speak out again. They did have one on staff but that position was removed under Queen Ann's reign.
City Council is taking a LOT of heat these days. I am sure that they are getting some very angry messages and likely some hurtful messages.
Community TV /The Trash Panda does NOT condone any abuse of Council Members. Criticize their actions all you want but PLEASE do NOT make it personal.
They are fellow humans.
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