Op-ed: Sweet Party - sugarcoated municipal politics with extra caffeine
Zucchini Blossom on 3rd street in Riverside, Medicine Hat, Alberta. Great coffee, wonderful owner, great cookies!
The Zucchini Blossom Café (yes, that’s a real place, not a Portlandia sketch) turned into a political sardine can tonight. Packed house, high-grade coffee, cookies so fresh you’d slap your grandma to get the last one. Riverside, baby — we’re doing democracy with biscotti. Standing.
I wasn’t really out there to seek an interview, attention, or much more than to check it out. I hurt my rib digging a fence post and just wanted to allow the CBG to melt my central nervous system. I was glad to have some familiar faces glad to see me too! Thanks to all the readers, viewers, candidates (and even some incumbents) who consume our content here at the owl. Hate watch if you must. Just don’t stop watching!
First up, Yusuf Mohammed. We talked about protecting grandma from phone scams and using food to glue people together. I’ve been to Multicultural Days - always well organized events. Food firsts are fun! He’s running the “don’t have a bankroll like some of these yahoos” campaign. Yusuf is common people. Not in the Oasis song way, in the “he actually remembers what groceries cost” way. I bet he’s stoked when A big meal comes in under budget and the cost per plate is unbelievably low. He’s basically Mr. Multicultural Days, feeding the Hat with kitchen diplomacy every year. Legacy: food, not lawsuits. Novel concept.
Then Michael Reid — family runs a hot yoga studio with infrared heaters that make your pores cry out for mercy. Problem: every time they crank it up, the city utility jumps out of the bushes like, “GOTCHA, MEDIUM-SIZED BUSINESS, PAY DOUBLE.” (Translation: KVA = kilovolt amps, or as we call it, “Gotcha! Voltage Accounting.”) Michael’s like: hey, maybe downtown business doesn’t need to be strangled with monopoly power bills. Maybe local brands matter more than faceless franchises. Maybe businesses should gang up into collectives and shout their story louder. (Somebody give this man a megaphone and a cheaper power bill.)
Alan Rose? Man’s everywhere. If there’s a handshake, he’s shook it. If there’s a forum, he’s forumed it. If there’s a cookie, he’s… well, Ingrid probably snagged it first because they’re a power couple. Their campaign strategy isn’t cooked up in a war room — it’s roasted at the dinner table, medium rare, with mashed potatoes. Alan’s like, let’s make town halls fun again. BBQs in the park. Burgers with bylaws. Honestly? That’s a campaign promise I’d actually show up for. Also: Yusuf’s multicultural food fest + Alan’s BBQ = Medicine Hat Iron Chef: Municipal Edition! (You have no idea how much I love chef shows - Anthony Bourdaine was the GOAT! But Yan Can Cook is the OG. I digress)
Crowd was loud, buzzing, shoulder-to-shoulder. Ted was there in oxblood leather shoes that deserved their own press release. Andy McGrogan was lurking too, ex-cop turned “acting mayor” cosplayer. Word is, he doesn’t care about “legal or not legal” anymore — it’s all about “respect.” Cool, Tony Soprano. Do you get a pension bonus every time you demand people stop whispering in chambers? Rumour mill says he might drop out late and endorse Drew Barnes — you know, landlord king, collector of doors, probably appearing in Medicine Hat’s court docket more often than the bailiff.
Samraj? Oh boy. Kris “I don’t do interviews with scrappy indie outlets” Samraj. Cool way to show voters you’ve got academic tenure energy. Bro, even the people who don’t like us are saying you look snobbish. Not a good campaign slogan. Like, Yusuf’s having a party, Alan’s bringing BBQ, Michael’s sweating in infrared yoga — and Kris? He’s giving us ghosted emails and “school of Ann Mitchell” vibes. Congrats.
Anyway, if last season of city council was “Orange Is the New Black” meets “Desperate Housewives” (lawsuits, drama, whisper fights in the chamber), then Season Two looks promising. We’ve got BBQ showdowns, business revolts, yoga heatwaves, and an ex-cop demanding respect like he’s in a Scorsese flick.
Kelly was there too. Even though another candidate in the race tried to suffocate her voice early by getting a restraining order prior to campaigning. The judge granted the order to keep Mr. Campbell and his family safe, however, allowed a reasonable exemption for Tom when covering events, forums or debates for the news, and for Kelly, to participate in democracy. I heard Campbell was there, but I must have missed him.
We don’t endorse candidates (please stop asking). But here’s the deal: if you won’t sit down for an interview with people you disagree with, don’t expect many engaged voters to co-sign your campaign. Democracy requires awkward conversations. Otherwise, you’re just playing SimCity with real people’s lives.
So… who’s on your scorecard? And more importantly — Would you come to the Owl’s mayoral debate? Let’s say it was October 17th? or are you scared we aren’t as sweet? At least fill out the poll!
Let us know what you’re thinking.
Help me understand how you make these choices.
Huge shouts out to the owners of these locally owned small biz that are fattening up this next round of political hopefuls, and pumping in sugar and caffeine after 6pm! I need a CBD gummy or 2 to calm this buzz.
